It’s been rough.
I have been binging like a boss today. Frankly, I’m having issues with binging more now than I ever have. I pretty much ate an entire bag of chips on my own today and a bag of popped chips this weekend. It’s been really hard to keep that under control. I knew that this was going to be an issue. I’ve read that your body, in a way, rejects your weight loss when you’ve lost a large amount. This is why it gets harder to lose weight. For me, the issue is that I look at how much more I have to climb up Mt. Fitintoskinnyjeans and I get frustrated/scared/excited/crazy. I know I don’t want to stay where I am, but I know that I need to keep eating well and exercising no matter if the scale doesn’t move at weigh in. On the other hand, I don’t want to become complacent, because no matter how happy I am where I’m at right now, I’m still categorized as obese.
So I’ve been dealing with a lot of uncertainty and confusion lately and I’m finally figuring out what my issue is (by writing it out here on él blõgo). I think that it started when I laid out a list of weight loss rewards that became kind of discouraging. The ultimate one was a new computer when I lost 50% of my weight (178.5) which I have a high hopes for when that is but I have to be real with when that will actually happen. The issue is with The Biggest Loser is that we see the weight loss journey as a race and a competition. I was reading a friends facebook page who has just reached her weight loss goal (congrats Brooke: Not On A Diet!) and someone asked her how long it took. When she told them four years, they said “Really? It too THAT long?” To which she replied “Yes, I’m not in a hurry to end this journey because I’m in this for life. Besides, slow and steady wins the race.” I think she absolutely has it right. I know that if I just keep at it, it will all come in time. I’m going to be persistent.
With all of that being said, I’m going to start looking at this journey in chunks: a few pounds at a time. I might not break 200 by the end of this year…or I might! It might take me some time, but it’s going to happen. I’m going to keep counting points, going to keep training for my half marathon in February and I’m going to start strength training to try to tighten my loose skin.
Game time. Get stoked. See ya tomorrow.
P.S. tomorrow’s weigh in is going to be ugly. Time to be better.