If you were to ask me about what it’s like to lose weight, the answer would have varied throughout this almost-three year journey. When I first started out, I would have said “it’s simple! You just don’t eat the bad things, work out whenever you can and drink a crapton of water.” When I hit a pretty massive plateau after I hit the 100 pound mark, I would have said “it’s kind of miserable when your friends who are eating what they want while you’re eating celery in the corner and fighting to lose half a pound.” This morning, I got on the scale, cringed at the sight of myself in the mirror and said aloud “I hate weight loss so much right now.”
Since I have joined Weight Watchers, I have lost as much as 12 pounds, but really I have lost a total of 17 pounds. My weight fluctuates….badly. If I have learned anything in the past three years, it’s that my body hates sodium and will retain and hold water like the Hoover Dam. I will do really well and then I’ll eat a unseemingly salty meal and then BOOM, five pounds up.
(Before you start to write a comment about importance/unimportance of the scale, let me stop you there and say it is just a part of the equation because I can feel that extra weight and see that extra weight in the mirror.)
At this point, it is more than the scale or retaining water, at this point I just mad at myself for eating bad things that aren’t inherently bad. For example: Cheerios. In the world of cereals, Cheerios would not be on George W. Crispies’ list of Cereal Axis of Evil. But when I binge on two-larger-than-normal bowls of those delicious O’s, it is bad news. Last night, I just binged snacked all night when watching TV. It was just mindless eating. I saw the carrots and the apples when I was getting the milk for my cereal out of the fridge, but I still went the other way.
I think the fact of the matter is that I’m tired. It feels like the past three years of grad school, work, church responsibilities, exercising, being social, and counting points have finally caught up to me. I was on the verge of just burning out on life. Yesterday, I did a lot of thinking about where to go from here because I had two options: just quit and see where that would take him (spoilers: emotional breakdown leading to the demise of my weight loss journey) or reflect on how blessed I truly am and how I should quit taking it for granted and then make that the catalyst for my continued success. Fortunately, I went with the later. After I put this whole weight loss/life thing in to that perspective, that so far, it has been such an awesome journey, it has challenged me to make the most of it and to keep going!
So What’s Been Going On With The FFK?
Well I guess I should update you on what’s going on since it has been so long since I’ve posted.
First, I bought a Weight Watchers ActiveLink that tracks your daily activity. The goal is to reach 100% of your baseline activity. For me, that’s about an hour of activity (walking, running, swimming, etc.). At the end of the day, you plug it in to the USB port of your computer and it tells you how many Activity Points (or Weight Watchers Points) you have earned for the day. My goal this month is to reach at least 100% every day. That is going to force me to do some sort of activity because one the days I was just working and then going home, I would only do 9 minutes of activity on those days according to the ActiveLink.
Second, I signed up for the Tallahassee Half Marathon in February! Not only is this the 40th Tallahassee Half Marathon, the featured speaker this year is one of my running heroes, Bart Yasso from Runner’s World. I read his book last summer that documents his journey from being a drug addict to a world-renowned runner. He is truly inspiring! I had thought about doing the full, but I’m going to hold off until I hit my goal weight. The arthritis in my knees and my hips is still an issue, but my doctor said a lot of those problems will be reduced when I lost the rest of my weight. Plus, I feel like I would have needed to have started my training in April to feel truly prepared for a full marathon.
When I trained last time, I didn’t do near enough cross training or weights to get my body in shape for the run. I had the endurance, but I knew there was room for improvement. That if my body was in better shape, then my form would have been better and my finishing time would have been better.
Finally, I have a job that I absolutely love, but it takes up a lot of my time…in the best possible way. I work in a place that not only promotes service, leadership and inclusion to the Florida State community, it fosters a community of passion where its workers are encouraged to be themselves. I get to go to work every day doing what I love. When you do something you love, you are willing to stay after hours and go that extra mile for your job. That does, however, take its toll. When I get home, the last thing I really want to do is look at a computer screen and type some more. So what does that mean for this blog? Probably not daily posts, but an integrated approach where my reporting will be both on here and on my Facebook page. I’m definitely going back to a weigh-in day post on Saturdays that recaps the whole week as well. I love blog writing. I really do. But now I’m just going to have to fit it in to my schedule better than I have.
I hope this hodgepodge of a post makes some shred of sense. It’s been a weird time for me, but I still love being a weight loser and I still love being awesome. So I guess I’ll keep doing that. See ya tomorrow.
This post was written in two different stages: pre-stressed Nathan and post-self reflection Nathan. If there seems to be an issue of flow, that is why. Nathan would also like to add that he appreciates all of his readers and friends who have checked up on him during this long period of absence. He hopes he is as good to his friends as they are as good to him.